A hypothesis for getting the life that we desire

The Equation of Life- an active hypothesis
(chances are none of this will make sense to anyone but me)
Escaping the cycle of life is everything that I want to do, but at the same time lie trapped in its ways
Change always leads to the unknown and most of the time, the never before imagined. We want change because we think that it will make things better, insinuating that we feel like there is something wrong with the way things are. For things to be better change must take place. That is a variable that is constant with the equation of improved outcomes. X + Change= improvements or depreciation (doing something differently can produce adverse effects as well)
X= doing the same thing over and over= status quo or depreciation or DEP (never can produce improvement)
DEP = X(T) this is due to the fact that X is not ∞
X needs energy to maintain status quo this is the constant motivator (CM) that is needed to maintain SQ, it is a part of SQ
SQ= CM(T) = X

Depreciation + Change = X or return to status quo, this is false improvement, in that there is a difference but it is not above anything that there was
You can see from the equation of life we need to have a consistent motion of change to have the best of things. As soon as we sense that there is something better than what we have we need to be putting into motion the things we need to do to experience that improvement.
Something must happen to X in order for it to see the need for improvement. There is a force exerted on X to see the need for motion. Something is needed to initiate this energy. Change is a byproduct of this motivator.
(M) must act upon X to produce(m)to produce change which will = improvement or depreciation
M is the motivator, (basically paints the picture of what the improvement will look like). The motivator delivers the spark that fuels the logic, desire, and planned course of action for the needed improvement which leads to the change. The motivator is active in pushing the motivation.
m is the motivation or fuel or power needed to produce change. Change needs energy or action to come to fruition. Motivation is the logic, desire, and planned course of action for arriving at the picture of the Motivator.
Energy is also needed to maintain status quo, a change to the amount of energy is what produces the depreciation or improvement. The continuation of the same amount of energy will maintain status quo but will only hold off depreciation for so long. X has a built in mortality factor that will never result in infinity.
M has the ability to deliver a positive or negative spark. This negative spark seems to erase the logic that maintains status quo or paints a false image of improvement (deceptive ideas)
M that results in improvement must provide depth that allows unlimited motivation or enough to result in the change. This change has a direct result on the outcome. They are not equal though because change is dependent on other variables.
Therefore The Motivator can be equal to Improvement or depreciation because it is what initiates the energy that produces the change. The outcome can be greater than, less than or equal to the onset.
Typically when the onset leads to improvement, this improvement has a hidden escalator in it that can make the improvement even better than the motivator because the motivator is the idea, the outcome is the experience. The same token applies to the deceiving motivator having a hidden depreciating escalator in it, as well that produces less than SQ.
There are strong motivators and weak ones. There are far more weak ones than strong ones. The weak ones create pictures that do not provide enough of a spark to start the fire or provide enough fuel to produce the change (lack motivation) A good motivator does not lack that spark and has enough fuel.
EM + X= change E= Effective
DM + X= SQ D= Defective weak logic, wishful thinking will be a byproduct but will always equal SQ
DM(T) + X = depreciation T=time
C(T) = improvement or depreciation C=Change
X-CM= depreciation CM=constant motivator
The CM needs to exert more energy to maintain SQ over time. SQ begins to breakdown when there is not enough energy to maintain it.
The work to get back to SQ comes from another type of motivator. This could be called the status quo motivator or SQM.
SQM(T) + depX = SQ dep=depreciation
Unless EM(T) + X becomes the equation this cycle will continue forever
This is why a constant motion of change or a colossal EM or CEM, is needed
CEM = improvement times infinity because there is not enough time for finished improvement to be completed.
CEM is a link of EM
CEM = EM+EM+EM continued
Conclusion:
We must find our CEM in order to live a life of fulfillment because otherwise SQ is all that we are fighting for. We also should find that this type of life is easier to live than one trying to maintain status quo. The proper Motivator provides all of the energy that we need to produce the improvement. It exists there.
CEM + X = the life that you desire or DL
The presence of a CEM implies that change will take place and can remove change from the variable making it equal to change.
Can also be expressed as (EM + EM+ EM)∞ + X = DL
DL= unlimited possibilities

Thoughts on patience

Patience
When do I need to give it, exercise it? When I am quick to anger and frustration?
1. Going someplace and waiting for someone
2. Working on something with someone
3. When I want someone to do something that I want
4. Teaching an idea or concept to someone
5. When things or situations do not go my way
6. Listening to someone and giving them a chance to talk and share
7. Anxious for a some type of event
Patience comes once I am done with myself. Needing patience and showing patience are too different things. Needing patience is much more indicative of a bad thing rather than a good one. When that changes is an indication that maturity is really entering in.
Needing patience is indicative of several things
1. There is a lack of self control
2. There is rapid motions of anger
3. Blatant frustration
4. Thinking that what I have to say is more important or more correct (Pride)
5. Pride
6. Indifference or hate instead of love
7. Not abiding (if I was I would see each moment for what they are instead of ruining them with an outburst of anger or frustration instead of self control and grace.)
8. Not walking with God
Most of the time patience is a just an exercise of self control, basically refraining from sin. It is not a virtue to refrain from getting upset or frustrated because someone is taking longer than you want them to. The virtue comes in a much higher form; in its purest sense (and what I want to be known for) is a patience that is hopefully waiting for something for someone. This type of patience stems from love and understanding. A proper patience for someone has their best interest at heart. It understands the process and steps that it takes to live this life to the fullest and therefore waits hopefully for others. To live out life in a composed nature is to see the big picture. When you see the big picture you can ascertain that it will not be conquered in a quick fashion. It will take perseverance, fortitude, and time to get where you want to go. Not having this picture in my will lead to frustration, anger, intolerance and agitation.
I think that one of the biggest factors in living patiently with people and life, in general, is having the big picture in mind. Knowing where you are going and how and what it will take to get there alleviates a lot of the frustration. If I was going on a trip to Kansas in which I needed to be there in two days, I would save myself a lot of irritation if I had a map compared to if I did not have a map. Could you imagine the lack of composure that would come from guessing how to get there? And with people, patience only comes from maturity. One of the key ingredients that are in maturity is understanding. You understand how you got to where you are at. You have a firm grasp on how life works. You have actually taken the trip to Kansas; you know how long it takes. If it took you 12 hours you would not expect it to only take someone else 6. You know that you cannot skip steps or make things go faster. This mindset can permeate all of life. When I am finally marked by it I know that I will be able to look in the mirror and see the reflection of God because He is the source of all patience. He is wise, He knows where we are going, He knows how and what it takes to get there. He remains without irritation and filled with composure because He came to this earth, He understands. He sits hopeful and waiting.
As a side note, I think and want others to know, that when I lose my patience that I look like a complete idiot and utter fool. It is a mark of immaturity and fleshly living.

The conditions of God's promises

In the Scriptures there are a number of promises that are given by God. There is something to really consider in regards to them in order to see the fruition of them. The only way that we can see if God’s promises are true is to remain confident and fully trusting that what He said is true. Just because it is promised does not mean that we will receive or experience them. Here’s an example to consider: I have a five year old that loves to play Mario Kart on the Wii. He asks just about every day to play. On most days he allowed right after he asks but on other days there are conditions. I promise (an agreement that guarantees something) him that he can play if cleans up his other toys and folds all of his laundry. There are two things that can happen: he can see the fruition of my pledge and do what was asked or he could not do it and not see the fruition. What I guaranteed did not change but it is not seen because a condition was not met. There are a couple reasons that this might happen. Maybe my son does not trust my word. He could be apprehensive and think that even if he did what was asked he still might not be able to play. The other is simple disobedience. He simply wanted what he wanted but not what I wanted, therefore he chose to not do what was required.
God’s promises are the same. We will never be able to call Him a liar. What He has promised He will willingly oblige. The only things that will keep us from seeing the fruit of His promises are distrust (not having faith) and disobedience. In matters of lack of faith, is there something else that you have found that can get you what God promises? Have you found a better way? Where are you putting your confidence? What is your hope? I am extremely confident that God has never lied or failed to supply His end of one of His promises, if you failed to see it, it is because you did not do what was required. You wanted your way, but not His way. If you like what He promises, look to see what is required on your end, and do it! He will do what He has said, ALWAYS! This is for me more than anyone that reads this, but I do hope that it encourages you. What is one promise that God has made that really excites and motivates you? I love that if I seek Him, I will find Him. He has never failed to live up to His end of the deal. Countless times, I have failed to live up to my end. He is faithful! His guarantees are extraordinarily abundant and inestimably valuable!

Some first draft meditations from tonight.

Below are some meditations from tonight that will need to be developed over time. They may or may not make sense to anyone but I see them as seeds being planted into me. We shall see what they will grow into. If any of them plant themselves into you, please let me know. This could totally be just for me, though, and that is okay.

You want me to know the power of the resurrection. In it is everything and it is where we find You.

You want us to first trust You and then continue trusting You and live accordingly. This would resemble living with all our heart, soul and mind in this belief. This belief makes You very excited. Living confidently is fully trusting.

Knowing You is what You want. You want us to know You and this takes place within the resurrection power. You wanting us to know You is profoundly spectacular!

When we close our eyes and completely balance ourselves, You (Jesus) will greet us. When we open our eyes, You will walk with us.

The reason that You want us to prophesy more than anything else is because it requires us listening to You far more than it requires us talking. The energy required to listen to You is found solely in the resurrection power. Living out prophesy is living out all the gifts. Not just speaking as a prophet but also living like a prophet. A prophet is alive to You. This is not some freaky religious person, this is someone that believes in all the life of Jesus and through that is awakened to You and comes alive on this earth. Very natural looking except it looks foreign to those that are not awake.

When a person has entered into this awakening something strange and life altering begins to take place. This world becomes a cocoon. It is very much resembles a caterpillar. Born and living yet it knows that something far greater lies ahead, doesn’t really know what it is though. This is a person that is not awake on this earth. They know that there is something but really have no idea how crazy it could be. Until the caterpillar decides to enter its cocoon it cannot see what lies ahead. The person that begins to trust that Jesus is still alive enters the cocoon. This earth is no longer the same. It becomes a place of transformation and change and that is all that it is. This life, my life, is life that is in the cocoon. There is something major happening. There is a transformation taking place and as long as I am alive, I am in the cocoon. The day that caterpillar’s cocoon breaks open is the day that it ceases to be a caterpillar and is now what it was meant to be. The day that this cocoon breaks is the day that I become what I was meant to be and live as I am meant to live. This earth is a cocoon to those that are awake. We are surrounded by those that do not know we are in one. If a caterpillar refuses to build a cocoon, it will never know what it was meant to be. It might look at a butterfly and say, that would be so amazing to fly, not realizing it is meant to fly. Those who are not awake have no idea that we who alive are now living, as if, in a cocoon. This is where all the change is going down. We are being morphed. It is as dramatic as a worm to a butterfly. What if there were a thousand caterpillars and only five made it to their cocoon? There would only be five butterflies. That is the only way that this world has butterflies. What if out of 4 billion people only 5 million of them trusted that Jesus is true? There would only be 5 million people that emerge from this life transformed and changed. (Although I believe the number would be much higher because I truly believe that God has a unique grace for children and if their chance to enter the cocoon was cut short they will still be transformed. Lots of caterpillars are eaten before they get a chance to transform.) We are not butterflies here in this life. We are worms that are ceasing to be worms becoming what we will be. This is the transformation.

It is very certain that if we trust You, You will show us that You are God. We will not have to read about it and how others have experienced You. You will show us personally and be that to us, because You are the same now as You have always been. I love this.

The thing about love....ok, maybe one thing.

I would have to say that most of the time, in order for love to be its best, you have to be at your worst. That is when the potency of love bubbles up and overcomes you. Love is potent when you do not feel a sense of entitlement to it. Unfortunately this is typically actualized when we are at our worst. When we are at our best and “giving” our love to someone we feel as if the same should be reciprocated. We feel as if we deserve it and are entitled to it. This creates the idea that love is something that is a reward or something that is earned. And this is how we interact and live with those that we love. This is all fine and dandy until we have one of those days where we know for a fact that we did not hold up our end of the bargain. We failed to “give” our love, we know that we failed. In our minds we believe that we are no longer entitled to “receiving” love. This is where actual love kicks in. Actual love is not based upon performance or as a compensation for labor. Actual love comes at you freely, with no strings attached. Actual love takes you at your worst and treats you as if you are at your best. This is something that is so foreign to the human soul. So foreign that in fact it is easy to want to push it away and reject it. We would rather wallow and wait until we deserve it again. This “foreigner” is persistent though and will not allow us to wallow in the mire. Why? Well, our love would never allow its subject any time wallowing, so why would someone else’s? Love comes in when we are down and picks us up. To reject it is pride. To say no, is to have no understanding regarding love actualized. When we allow it to pick us up it renews us with a sense of satisfaction. I have come to understand that this is because love satisfies. It takes us at our worst and makes us feel at our best. It will never allow us to feel unworthy of its rewards; that would be pity. Love is so much greater than pity; it heals as thorough as any medicine that can be prescribed or surgery that can be performed. It is almost a tragedy that this is the way that it must go. If we can lay all of our efforts and pride aside and allow love to do its thing I feel that we would experience something far greater than what we currently do. Love minus the entitlements is, indeed, one of the greatest most surreal things on the planet, it heals us and sets us free.

Attention my friends

For those of you that know me and love me, I have received super encouraging words and I need you to remind me of them whenever you can. The only way that I will come to know God any deeper right now is by overcoming the evil one. That is my aim in life right now, overcoming the evil one. I lost focus to where I was at, kind of discombobulated. The light is shining all around and I can see the sign, overcome the evil one, that is how you will know the one who is from the beginning, it the only way to get there. I was trying to skip it. THis is mind boggling encouraging to me, please remind me of this often if I look dazed and confused! Thanks!

The secret that I know Part III forthcoming

To the few of you that have read the first couple of these writings I wanted to let you know that there has been a slight delay in the third installment due to me getting pneumonia. As soon as the pounding headache and other unpleasantries clear up, I will continue on with the secret.

The secret that I know, Part II

Jesus the Key
There is absolutely no denying the historical existence of a man named Jesus. He is as historical as Christopher Columbus. The thing that blows me away about the man named Jesus is the impact that his life left on the world. In 2000 years it has not lost one bit of momentum. Don’t get me wrong, I am not going to say it has been pretty. Religions have formed around him and manipulated people, wars have been waged in his name, and hypocrisy and legalism have left a resounding distaste in peoples’ mouths. This in no way, shape or form reflects on who the man Jesus is and claimed to be. The reporting of his life has never changed and when you cut through all of the religious crap you find that for 2000 years the name of Jesus has perpetually changed peoples’ lives. I would like to authenticate this report. I am another one of those that have been changed. What I would like to report on, though, is what has changed. This is where I believe a major difference exists between secondhand reporting and a firsthand account. This is where holding the key and using the key are radically different. Living by faith and having faith do not even look similar. The Jesus that you have heard about and the Jesus that is in the Bible are very different. Look I know that this is very confusing and I will tell you that it takes years to work through and understand. When you enter the door it does not become a cure all and easy fix. It is anything but an easy fix. You do not magically get made perfect nor does everything go your way. That is what is so awesome about the Bible! It tells you this. It does not try and sell you some It tells you that the early followers of Jesus were imprisoned and tortured to death! That would definitely be obvious that life does not automatically get easier! Those lives were WAY easier (in an earthly sense) before encountering Jesus! These were people that left everything to follow this Jesus and some had their heads chopped off, willingly!!! They faced unknown dangers including, imprisonment, starvation, poverty and being disowned from their families and communities, but why? What was it that lead them to do this? Jesus is the key. Part II

The secret that I know

The secret that I know
There is a secret that I know. It is a secret yet every town in America knows it. It is a secret that most of the world knows yet it is still a secret. It is information that goes so deep, infiltrates so many things that if it was shouted from the rooftop it would blow the cover off of everything that we know, yet it is broadcasted everywhere. This knowledge is available to all who desire it, yet it is still restricted. Well it has come to a point that I am weary of holding it in; no longer can I remain hush-hush regarding it. It is time for me to reveal the surprise. Tied up in the entire universe, the known and unknown, is a key that unlocks the door to all its mysteries. I have discovered this key. I have this key in my possession. I, myself, have entered the door. I have entered and it is beyond my wildest dream, far deeper and more surreal than that of my most untamed hallucination. It is a world filled with power and understanding, yet what remains to be discovered is equal to that of continents of new, unchartered lands.
The key that will get you in, this classified news that is available on every city block is one word. Jesus.
This one word, this one person is the key to everything everywhere. By Him unlocks the mysteries of all living by letting you in the door of all understanding. I want to stand on my rooftop and shout at the top of my lungs; the key is Jesus. Without Him you know nothing. I will say it again, without Him you know nothing, you are a fool. (I know this because I was a fool as well) Without Him you have no chance. Without Him you have zero understanding. Without Him you are a walking zombie searching for life. Without Him you will continue to walk around as a dying man searching for a cure.
This remains a secret because many know of this key but will not open the door. Well I did and I am not going to keep it a secret any longer I am going to tell you about it and I promise not to stop telling you. I am going to write and talk everyday all day and I am going to proclaim this secret. Jesus is the answer to all things. The door that He opens is a door that you don’t even know exists. Well I am going to tell you about it. I am going to look like a lunatic, sound like a fanatic, but you know what? I am. I am head over heels, in love with this Jesus. It is high time for everyone to fully know this secret that I know. So I am going to shout it from my rooftop, I am going to write it everywhere. I want everyone that knows me to know about this door. You do not have listen to me, but I think that if you do, you will be surprised by what I have found behind this door. It is mind blowing and different than what is advertised by those that have only read reports about it. Secondhand reporting will always miss the mark. I will start by saying that it is higher than any high can get you, deeper than any sexcapade can take you, richer and more complete than money can buy you. It leads you to truth and truth sets you free. You see without this secret, you are bound. You are a slave to this world, you are in chains to everything that is ugly and broken, and you yourself are broken. This secret will open the door to freedom. Jesus came to set you free. Freedom is unlike anything you know. All you know is slavery. I will shout it if I have to but right now I am whispering in your ear, you can be free, you can be free, you can be free. I was bound. I have been set free. The key is Jesus. Part 1

The coining of a new term, "mind constipation!"

I have recently emerged from a deep fog. It is not the first time that I have been immersed in such a fog but it is the first time that I have come out of it seeing it for what it was. Ladies and Gentlemen I would like to introduce you to a new term, “mind constipation.” This is a time period in which there are many activities, thoughts, and ideas are rolling around in your mind but for some reason there is not anything coming out. Thoughts are lost, ideas never get expressed, there is no writing, no conversation, no laughter, no crying, nothing is coming out! You sit down to write, nothing, yet there are pages that want to be written. You try and have a conversation, nothing, yet long soliloquies are waiting to burst forth. A brainstorming session arises, nothing, yet it is a torrential downpour within. Just like it’s counterpart it is borderline paralyzing. It affects everything around you. Instead of hemorrhoids it produces palpitating headaches and insomnia.
I would like to happily announce that relief has finally come. I want to boldly declare it is just as satisfying as its dreadful ally it terms as relief. The words have emerged, the thoughts are flowing, and the keys are being pounded. Sleep was obtained! It feels so refreshing to be able to communicate again. The log jam of my mind will take some time to unravel itself, but that is fine. You cannot rush this sort of relief! Hopefully the byproduct will be of some value to someone rather than just being a relief in and of itself!

20 things that I like

Twenty things that I like a lot: no order, just as it flows
I really like wisdom. I mean I seriously love it. It makes me go crazy on the inside. It makes me feel like I am going to burst. When someone takes the information of the past and actually believes it and follows it, they then, become wise. That is when things change, a building block is added. Most of the time it takes getting to the end to see what could have been seen at the beginning and the journey could have gone to a whole world of new discoveries.
I like inspirational stories that dynamic people tell. I like when someone becomes somebody that they had no chance to ever become.
I like love. I like everything that I have learned about it in the last few years of meditating about it. The thing I like best about it is that it is not something far off and unattainable; it is before my eyes at every second. I hold the key that unlocks the door. If I fail to use it, it is only my fault. I like that love is the only force of the universe that I can change.
I like the moments that my kids are able to provoke unstoppable laughter from my belly just because they are who they are.
I like when all is still and the presence of God fully engulfs me and reminds who He is.
I like that that always comes when I need it the most.
I like the radiance that flows from my wife’s face when she lets herself enjoy life.
I like a really good cup of coffee.
I like that nothing has to stay the same.
I like to cook for people.
I like flower gardens.
I like that I am not expected to be perfect, and I am loved perfectly.
I like movies that can make me cry.
I like Jon Foreman.
I like how my oldest son will press his face against mine to be close to me.
I like how my daughter will squeeze my face and push her nose against mine and tell me to not talk mean to her.
I like how my youngest son will look at me and squint at me to mock my squinty eyes.
I like shoveling my driveway late at night.
I like that despite any circumstance that comes my way it can never ever separate me from my HOPE.

December 25th

Today is December 25th. To me it is just another day. Sure, I will visit with family, eat some food, exchange a few gifts, but all in all, it is simply another day. I will put zero emphasis on today as some sort of special day designated to celebrating the birth of Christ. I will not act like today is some sort of event sanctioned by the living God.
I will live today like I do every day. I will strive to seek God hourly through the power of His Son Jesus. I will seek to love others and honor them. I will encourage others to seek His Presence. I will let joy fill my heart because I am redeemed.
Today is just another day to me and although I am surrounded by hoopla it will not affect me. I will live as I do every single day, alive to You.

Normalcy has been crushed

I want to know how different things were after You died on the cross. I want to know the emotion, the thoughts and everything that was going on in those who had seen You, had followed You. It would have been so crazy to have been around this “revolutionary” and seen the things that You did and to have heard the things that You said. It shook everything around You. You shook everything. The force that You had as You walked from town to town was staggering. Your very presence had massive crowds bustling around stopping to see You, flocking to watch You. You had towns standing on edge to hear what You would say and see what You would do. I can sit here and try to imagine the conversations that were had afterwords but I am not quite clear how it would have sounded. What does one say after witnessing a paralytic rise up and walk? I think You would forever go down as “that one guy.” Remember that one guy….Why is it that only a few that saw who You really were? Do I see who you are? I want to be one of the ones that would have kept following. When I look at You all I see is the truth of all the universe. You carry and possess everything that I could ever want and more. The door that You open is the greatest possible opening that one could ever ask for. Have I walked through it? I have read what You said. Even more important, I have followed You to the cross. I can see it and I can see You there. Why are You there? What are You doing there? This is where You wanted me to follow You right? What does this mean? I see You there. I know that You are there, that it is You. I see the Son of God on a cross? What does this mean? I know that You said that You had to go there, but You never said why? What is the meaning? What are the implications of this? The emptiness that everyone had to feel after You died had to been suffocating. We followed You to the cross, then You were gone.
I am sure that they had start recalling the things that You said, “I am here to save, heal, bring joy and fulfillment to your lives.” Now You are gone. You said that nobody could know God apart from You, now what? You said that You would be gone for three days, now You are gone forever. I remember what You did, what You said, but now what? Three years wasted. Well maybe not wasted. What was witnessed had never been witnessed before. But now what?
I can imagine the “breaking news” that came. There are reports that You are back! The confusion and anger of some cruel joke someone was playing. Then a few more sightings. The glow of all that saw You. The instantaneous joy and hope that flooded the souls of those that saw You had to of offered something to those being told! Until finally the few were gathered and all at once there You were. The insanity of that moment is one for all time. There could not have been a calm soul in the room. The chaos of that moment would have been an explosion of everything that anyone could have wanted. The realization of what just happened had to been staggering. The one that they had followed died and then came back to life! Died and came back to life! How could it be? This became the affirmation of everything that You said. This sealed the deal. This became the permanent hope. Life could never be normal again. This was the day all things that were normal came to a crashing halt. This was the day that the extraordinary began.
I too can attest to this. All things normal have crashed and continue to crash since the day I came to know You as alive. How can anything be normal when normalcy has been crushed. Please crush the normalcy of my life! How can it be that my life would resemble anything of that of someone that hasn’t seen You alive. You are alive, things can never be the same. You changed everything for them, You changed everything for me. Nobody that You appeared to was the same afterwords, how could they be? How could I be? I emphatically declare, I cannot be. Normalcy has been crushed.

Resolved To Live

Resolved to Live
There are things in my life that I want to do differently for the remainder of my days on this earth. These are resolutions, things that I am resolved to do. Each thing I will fail at many, many times but eventually I will prevail. I have been given a power that overcame death and through which the framework of the entire universe was created. Therefore, I will overcome. These are things that when I am not paying attention seem to jump up and bite me like a rattlesnake or even worse pounce me like a lurking lion. It will require constant faith, diligence, warning, reminding, discipline, desire, seeking, listening, looking and patience. In the end I will look different and those around me will be different. I am putting them out there as a way of accountability. Maybe the three of you that stumble upon this can ask me, “hey, are you staying on top of those resolutions, are you living resolved?” I am confident as can be that if I do what I know is required I will overcome these and be able to see even more depth to the flesh that I hate. For now this is the surface and middle area of it. The depths of it are yet to come but these things are first. These are things brought to my attention by my Father, as well as others that I love.
Resolved to do:
When unexpected attack comes from the enemy, I will run. I will not try and fight because I am in no shape to fight, otherwise I would have seen it coming.
When I am tired I will go to sleep. Staying awake will always lead to trouble, immediate and next day.
If I talk to any person in an attitude I would hate to receive myself, I will immediately apologize and seek again the presence of God.
I will curb my appetite by seeking His presence.
I will once a day consider how God loves people and ask to have one day of extreme love. When this day finally comes I will let it change me forever.
I will not be on the computer when my children are around, unless a very specific and urgent matter is at hand.
I will write something every other day.
I will seek the presence of God once an hour. When I fail I will learn from it.
I will continue to learn how each person around me feels loved and learn to become that in their life, as opposed to loving how I think they should be. Love becomes what it needs to be in order to achieve what it is.
Whenever anger starts to arise in my heart I will seek its root and pull it.
I will ask, look, and listen as much as possible so that I can receive, see and hear.
I will confess exaggeration to the point that it no longer exists.
I will have this list automatically texted to me once a day and I resolve to read it every day.

Worthy to be Loved

Worthy to be Loved: The goal of this is to convince you that you are worthy to be loved, that Love declares you to be worthy and wants you to feel it as well.

There is something quite magical about being rooted in the love of God. It is something that I continue to grow deeper and deeper in. The depth of it is astonishing and it is true that we simply cannot comprehend the exact depths of it. Something that continues to be a revelation to me is what His love means, meaning: learning what love actually is. Its very definition is defined throughout Scripture but actually encountering it and experiencing it is totally different thing. Being told that you are loved is nothing like being loved. Being loved is an experience that brings to me such humility. It is so overpowering and will catch me totally off guard at times. I find that those moments are always best when I know I did nothing at all to provoke it. When it is poured out on me simply because the other person truly loves me is such an extraordinary time (meaning that “ordinary” cannot compare to it). When this happens even though I feel unworthy, the other person is saying, “YOU ARE WORTHY of my love.” Not because of something you did, because you are you. This is by far the greatest love that I have experienced. What a confidence this breeds! It is so empowering to be loved like this.
There has been something new and exciting that I have been experiencing in regards to God’s love that really has empowered me. It has given me great confidence and I am positive that is one of the main reasons that it was done. It has to be, because God says that He is Love. He sent Jesus out of His love. Not to prove His love, but because love is a verb. Love Does. There is nothing that God has done to prove His love. There is no such thing with Him. Everything He has done defines what love actually is as opposed to what we think it is. This is such a huge point of understanding. Jesus did not come to prove love but because love rescues, love reaches out a hand. It would not be love if there was no rescue. There was never a chance that the rescue would not come. He would not have been able to declare Himself to be Love. I am learning that every new leaf I turn over with Him shows me a new depth of this love. So I feel compelled to share this leaf with you. Maybe you yourself have turned over this leaf yourself and know its depths, if not, please let your roots dig in deeper!
Jesus Christ God’s Son, came to this earth. He walked on this earth, He lived and ate and worked and interacted with mankind on this earth. He did not do this on another planet, He did it here on the same ground that we walk and do the same things on. He offered Himself up to the living God, whom He called Father as a sacrifice for all of mankind. The Scriptures make this bold statement: for by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified. This perfection is what I am delighted to share. This perfection is what I consider to be the expression of love that I mentioned earlier. It is the love that you want to say I am not worthy of, but screams, “YOU ARE WORTHY!” This is something that only Love can do. Only He can do it. Now on to the explanation.
In the letter to the Romans, Paul lays out so much stuff that it is so easy to gloss over it but upon reading it again and again you begin to pick up what he is declaring to these people. It is shocking shocking and more shocking. The implications of what it is saying and what it means will drive us into stinkin’ eternity. Paul declares in Romans 5 we have been justified by faith. These six words are so explosive I think that we have to be careful with them and watch out for fireworks to come shooting out of someone’s heart as they latch onto the implications of what this declares. First off a quick Bryon recap of what faith is.
Faith begins in one of two ways, either a serious dilemma or problem or an extreme desire or want. A problem arises that you cannot fix yourself, you need help. You look around and finally find something or someone that you think can get you out of your dilemma, this becomes your hope. Hope is the thing that you think will lead to you no longer having the problem. Once you find it you live with a confidence that it will take care of the issue and life can continue on. This time period is faith. It is living with a hope to a problem. You have faith, you live by faith that this hope will fix things. The other type is an extreme desire. You want something really bad. You know that you yourself cannot do anything to get it, you need something else to get you there. You locate what you think will get you there, again this becomes your hope and again you adjust your life to live confidently that you are on your way to having what you want because the hope that you have found.
Our faith justifies us. Let’s define this faith, what is the want or need? In this case they go hand in hand. We have a desire to know the one true God. We also have a need in that we are separated from Him because of our sin. This is a serious want and desire that we ourselves cannot do anything about so we are in need of help. Well we now learn about this man Jesus. We are told that he offered Himself up for all the sins of mankind. We are also told this, God was very well pleased in this and raised Jesus from the dead and He now sits at His right hand and forever mediates on our behalf. Now comes the crucial point….This is the same exact crucial point that every single man or woman will have to come to. Do you believe God? Do you believe that God accepted His Son back from the dead? Do you believe that God accepted His Son’s blood on behalf of your sin? If your answer is yes to these questions, you have found an answer or solution to your dilemma and desire. You now have a hope. You can now continue your life living confidently that you are no longer separated from God and that indeed you can know Him. We are told that this faith justifies us……oh man here we go!!!!! This faith, this confidence justifies us! Here is a glimpse at what it means to be justified. To be justified means that you have been found worthy of some honor or distinction. You have been found worthy. You have enough value that entitles you to receive something. The act of being justified is a one time, good for all time act. Any time something has been justified it is done. Justification is not a process. In some cases a process takes place to reach justification. Here’s a cheesy example: A student enrolls in college completes their undergrad, enrolls in law school, completes that, takes the bar exam, passes that now they are justified to be called a lawyer. There was a process that took place that now defends or backs up why they are called a lawyer. But once it has been done, it is done. The work is complete. There is a reason. Justification is about reasoning. It is about vindication and clarification. Our confidence that Jesus is our hope now makes us worthy. It vindicates us once and for all. It is finished, just as Jesus said. Every single one of us that has found that hope is now worthy to not only stand before the awesome Creator, but also to know and interact with this awesome Creator. Here is the love part. He are told that our faith justifies us. This is what real Love does. He makes us feel of the utmost value and worth. Love will not make you feel like you do not deserve it, love will make you feel so worthy of it. What has one of your kids ever done upon being born for love to swell up in you and pour out on them….absolutely nothing! But as they grow our love should leave them feeling worthy of it, non conditional. This is the new confidence that I have. My faith makes me valuable and instead of pity, I feel loved. This love looks like this: blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered: blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sins. This is the justified person. This is the man that believes God when He says that is very pleased with His Son. I believe God. Abraham believed God. This in turn pleased God. God is just as pleased with you or I when we believe Him. It is the same righteousness that was accounted to Abraham that is now accounted to us. This worthiness gives us the boldness and confidence that we can have before Him. There is peace and reconciliation because we are made valuable by the blood of Jesus. Here’s the clincher, Romans 5 1-5. Our worth is the result and effect of what God’s love being poured out into our hearts does. Love will never ever let its recipient feel unworthy, that is pity. Love will pick them up and stand them on their feet and say, “you my dear, are worthy of my love!” Faith makes us worthy, it gives us the value that we need, the reason, the vindication. It is all that we need. I am worthy of Salvation because of His blood. I am worthy to be in His presence because He received His Son’s offering and raised Him up and that is my hope. An effect of His love is Justification. The justification of Jesus removes any condemnation that could exist because it provides the reason or defense to our standing before God. My confidence in Him becomes my defense. It is all that I need to come before Him. I cannot carry anything else in. His blood makes me worthy to stand before God. We are now of value and precious before Him. We are in essence validated, allowed, permitted, fully and completely. It is a finished work. Now like Abraham we can grow strong in our faith fully convinced that He is able to do all that He has promised!
Do you feel worthy? Better yet do you now know that to God you are worthy of His love? It comes down to this, do you believe Him?

Meditations while laying in bed with the flu

In essence I am the same person I was 12 years ago. On the outside I look the same it is inside that has been transformed, even that though is essentially the same. My need for Jesus is still as much real today as it has ever been. There will never be a point that this is not true. There is no collection of obedience or love that I can produce to overcome even one sin. I could live sinless (I do not believe in this) for the next 25 years and slip up and sin and my 25 years of obedience could not cover that one sin. It is my confidence (faith) in Jesus that will purchase my forgiveness. It will always be His blood that atones for my sin. Anyone that is out there trying to say that your obedience is what gets you life with God is flat out wrong. It will always be about Jesus.
Sin wrecks all peace. Honestly I love this. I love that if I do something out of selfishness, pride, lust, envy, or anger I do not have the peace that I had prior to it. This makes it so obvious that the rest of the life that I am living is true. I love that I cannot go on as if nothing happened and try to converse with the creator. I love how giant He is and how small I am and when that it is its proper place. What I like even more is when I draw near and seek the forgiveness of God with Jesus at my side and not only does forgiveness take place but peace once again floods my soul. This always brings such amazing clarity of who I am, who my Father is, and who Jesus is.
Self proclaimed prophets that attack Christianity and think that their obedience is what sets them apart from “other” Christians and do not love those other Christians or care enough about those other Christians to actually go and teach them but sit back and criticize, are Pharisees. They will be judged by God. I do not subscribe to mainstream Christianity by any means. But I see is that is what the Bible says there will be. Little Children, Young Men, and Fathers. Unfortunately it is also true that there are not many Fathers. Those that really know God, Him who is from the beginning. If self proclaimed prophets actually knew God they would be going to these “children” and teach them and bring them along. All they do is criticize and use Bible verses in all the wrong ways. Let those who are wise shut their mouths, unless they are bringing others along instead of pointing out that people are doing it wrong. There is no method laid out in the Scriptures. These “remnant” types are trying to have another method, another law. It is about Jesus and loving Jesus and teaching others what this means. Those who are strong should go to the weak. The weak want help. The strong think that they are strong but they have no idea how weak they really are. Their obedience is their righteousness, I think that error is obvious. They think that they hear God but all that comes out of their mouth is condemnation for those trying to follow. Nobody recorded in the new testament speaks in that manner. Father, I beg you to always keep me filled with compassion and love. I would rather remain a child then not be able to offer practical truth.

the law versus faith

Meditations on the Law versus Faith
There is a total difference between living according to the law and living according to faith or the Spirit.
They produce totally different types of lives. As a result, the worship that comes from each one, looks and feels different.
The life of the law produces a life that feels like you have to do something in order to please God. You have to read your Bible, you have to pray, you have to go to church and do spiritual things. Everything that you do has to be sprinkled with some sort of spiritual seasoning to be accepted by God. It is weighty and pressure filled and leads to much grief, regret and shame. You feel that you didn’t do enough, you didn’t try hard enough, you didn’t say or do the right thing, or you didn’t do anything at all therefore you are a failure before God and now you have to feel sorrow instead of joy because how can you have joy when you failed so much. It is your sacrifice. If you had a lamb you would cut its head off.
Living by law does another thing as well. When you feel as if you are pulling it off it also produces pride, self righteousness, and judgment. When you are doing all that you think that you should you feel good. You feel like you are making God so happy and that maybe you got this whole thing figured out. You are helping others, being a good spouse, taking care of the kids, reading your bible, all the positives of being a Christian. Unfortunately you are also thinking, wow look at me I really am living it. You know enough not to want someone to actually be looking at you, but inside you are looking at yourself feeling pretty proud that you are doing all these great things. But then a day comes that you start seeing how poorly others love God. They are not doing these great things, they are not doing anything. They are so lazy and self absorbed. They only think about themselves. I can’t believe that they let their kids do that, I would never let my kids do that. The very essence of judgment is thinking that you do everything better than everyone else. This comes by thinking that doing everything right is living by faith. This is actually living according to the law. The life of being good at the things of God is living according to the law. This is the way of self righteousness and pride. It lives it life knowing all about Jesus and that you have to live trying to be so good at the things of the Bible and this pleases God. Knowing about Jesus and doing good things.
Living by faith now is a totally different animal. Living by faith is one that produces a life that is totally different then the law. The law tries to please God. Faith accepts God’s pleasure in His Son. Faith lets you live in a way that the God burden is completely melted away. I believe with all of my heart that the life of faith will completely overcome the life of living in fear. The life of faith destroys the fear of being cut off or cast away. A life of faith produces a confidence that Jesus is enough. That building your life upon Jesus being God’s Son is enough to satisfy the law. That the cross is enough to overcome regret, guilt, shame. The cross destroys our pride, our self righteousness, and our judgment.
When I say life of faith, what am I talking about? Here is what it means to me, maybe I am wrong. I believe with all my heart that when Jesus died on the cross, He did it for me. That all of my ugly, He paid for it. I believe that it was the only way that I could ever truly be ok with God. In coming before God if I present Him His dead Son, it cleanses me from all that I have done. Just like a priest that presented God a dead animal for atonement (healing and forgiveness) on behalf of the people, I present Him His dead Son for mine. I truly believe that the God of all Creation truly accepts it and says that yes, indeed this is true. You now have peace with me. Now an even better part I also believe with all of my heart, I not only have received peace but I have also received life. Unlike the sacrificed animal that decays and rots and that is that until the next offering. I believe that my sacrifice didn’t rot and I now have to offer another sacrifice. I believe that when I present to God His Son, He is so pleased by my confidence of His Sacrifice that He now offers me something more than peace. He offered me life. I believe that Jesus truly is the living God’s Son, sent to bring me before His Father and offer me the acceptance of His Father. I believe that on top of being a sacrifice He also became a Hero. He has rescued me from death by overcoming it. I believe that this literally happened. I really believe that He then went to be back with His Father…and then sent the same Spirit that is Him. His body was flesh like ours. His Spirit made Him different. His Spirit is the same that created the Heavens and the Earth. I believe that He sent it to fill those who believe in the before mentioned parts. Why He sent it and what that means is critical. I believe He sent it to bring our soul/spirit to life, to take the dead part of us and make us alive. Alive meaning, in tune with God, or having the ability to be in tune with God. To actually be able to hear His voice again. To engage in a relationship with Him. (important to note, almost every single person that had faith in God in the Bible was able to hear His voice and engage in a real relationship with Him.) I believe that over time this Spirit corrects us, leads us, interprets for us, intercedes for us, transforms us, comforts and teaches us.) I believe that this is done through many avenues including: Reading His word, talking to Him, learning from others, nature and listening to Him. I do believe that it is a process that will lead to places not known of even shortly before. I believe that this results from constant faith in His Son.
The life of the law says, I want to know God
The life of faith believes that it does know God and interacts with Him.
The law is the I know I should want to do this yet I feel guilty for not wanting to want it. Faith says I have the power to do what I want, so I do it. If I don’t do it, I simply didn’t want to. There is no, I know that I should want to do it, but I don’t do it. Living by faith feels like I missed out on something when I did not do it rather than fake regret. ( I know that I should desire to do that, that I do not desire) Faith wants it, then goes and does it because it is Jesus. It is power that didn’t not exist before.
A life of faith walks differently. If I could paint a picture it is as a man or woman walking with a gigantic smile on their face carrying their cross. I have always heard this thrown around as another type of living by the law way. In that you have to do something that makes God happy. In the true life of faith you can dance with Your cross and show it God and feel His great pleasure. It cries out, “Yes God, I have YOUR SON” I know that I have Your Son. I have you because I have Him. I know You because God, I LOVE YOUR SON. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! This is what makes the worship so different. There is no joy in worship according to the law. Of course when you are “on” it makes you happy to sing songs about Him. When you are off it is a burden or motion. The life of faith sees Jesus and knows His righteousness and allows you to sing right into the ear of God. Singing praises becomes one of the highest forms of living.

the blurs

One of my biggest problems is the blur. The blur is something that I define as a period of foggy living where life makes great strides in time and I missed it. There are moments that I am able to get so harnessed in that I can see it with high def vision. There will be times of Crystal clear moments and absolute clarity in sound, but then, “poof” I am shot into the future without experiencing the past. This is a major indication of not abiding. When I realized that I missed out on the experience of the past, I realized that I was not abiding in those moments.
I have been able to see that one of the major components that makes up my blurs is the fact that it very hard to focus for long period of time, for that matter, short amount of times, as well. It is a challenge to slow myself down to really see what is going on around me. This is not the type of living that I enjoy. I want to partake of this life, not skip through it for periods of time. There is something always to see, always to hear. I want the high def vision that brings life clearly into focus. When I am able to do this I have realized some things that I do differently than I do if life is cruising by. Now that I see some practical ways to abide (remain in the present to see and hear and experience everything in the now) I would like to share some of them. The biggest part of abiding is the voice of God. When I am in the now I can hear His voice with total clarity. This is not the case when I am engulfed in the blur. So when I realize that THE Voice is gone I retreat to my solitary place. Usually when I get there I have to try and stop the madness in my mind and really try and listen. An exercise that I use is I listen very closely to all of the noises around me. It starts as a jumbled mass of sounds but as I listen I can hear the individual parts that are making it up, as I listen, my hearing begins to become more acute. After a while I am able to begin to make my way into His presence and with all acuity hear His voice.
Another part of abiding is the ability to see what is really around me. Again when I get to my solitary place my mind is bouncing all over the place and I cannot really see what is around me. I gain control I slowly begin to look and see everything that is around me. I begin to name it as I see it. I do not over spiritualize it, I only name what I see, not what is inside of it. I notice the movements and how they move, the colors, the positioning, the shadows, and so on. Once I am able to see everything I look to the skies. (during this exercise I am always asking for help seeing everything) As I focus on the skies it sometimes tricky to get the eyes to cooperate so I came up this exercise that sometimes helps. I find for stars that make a square and then within that square I begin to count the stars. This will typically bring to focus everything and I am able to really see how many stars are there and from there I am able to look around and really see what is going on around me.
After these times I am able to go back into the world and live as I want to. I am able to stay in the present for longer periods of time. I hear what is going on, I see all of the sights. I am able to really help those around me instead of missing what they need. This is the type of life that I am progressing towards. Living in the now. Hopefully this will help anyone that struggles with the blurs as well. If anyone would like additional info, feel free to ask.

Make sure that you eat your broccoli

I want to preface this entry with this: I try and look at everything that I think and do through the eyes of someone that has no understanding of what the magic book says. In doing so I would think that I look like a total idiot. I do not look cool or even sane for that matter. If I was watching someone whose whole life revolved around things that are unseen, I would try to help them find their mind again. I say that so that anyone that reads this that has no idea what this is that I know exactly how they feel. Eleven years ago something dramatic happened on my insides that changed the way I see and experience everything. I know that it looks crazy, but it is the highest form of living that exists. I believe that everything in the magic book is true and is leading me to my ultimate goal.....to intimately know the Creator of this whole thing called life. I truly believe with every ounce of my being that we were all born to know this Creator. It is so unbelievably (yet very believable) perfect. There is no higher philosophy than this. I believe that on a daily basis I am interacting with the Living God, through the life of Jesus. Yeah that crazy Jesus that Christmas is supposedly about. The one that the churches try telling you about. The Jesus in the magic book is so much better than what most try and tell us about. I am sure that my readership will take a plunge by the mere mention of His name, but I am telling you, what I have experienced in the last decade is far more than any single one of you have and I am the biggest loser out of everyone that I know!
Anyways that preface was longer than planned. I just wanted to say that I know that I look like an idiot but I am the most peaceful, remarkably changed idiot that I know!
I am working on writing out all my thoughts and understanding of how the magic book is supposed to work in your life. Lately I have been able to clearly see what the progression of life can look like if properly taught and understood. The progression is so gentle and kind and looks exactly like the birth of a newborn. This is the start of it. Everything in life is fresh and new, everything is done for you. You need the help everyone around you because if left on your own you would die. Just like a baby. It needs fed, bathed, dressed, and even more importantly, loved. This is the first step in the spiritual life as well. It is uncanny when this takes place how everything looks radically different. Nothing remains familiar. It is like living in a completely different world. Here's how mine started. I am always felt that there was WAY more to life than what I was seeing. Almost like there was something behind the scenes. But I definitely didn't know what it was and was convinced that it had nothing to do with religion. (I still think that it has ZERO to do with religion, the magic book is clear on this) I had some things happen that opened my eyes a bit to look into some higher thinking of life. (we all have these things happen, we can chose to look into it, or just let it pass) Well as I investigated the life of a man called Jesus, I was surprised to see how boring the church made Him out to be, while the magic book presented these crazy ideas. One day it came to be that it simply made sense to me (I had no clue where it would lead, but I knew that it was the trail of life that I would follow.) I would follow the course of Jesus. This is where my life of faith began. Here is faith in a nutshell: I had a massive desire to understand what this life is (note it most start with a desire) I needed to find an answer to it, something that could get me there (this is a hope, the thing that you look to, to get the thing that you desire) Jesus presented Himself as the clearest most logical (even though it looks illogical) solution. He became my hope that would get me the answers and understanding that I desired. Now faith is living confidently that you picked the proper hope to get you what you want. I want to shout EUREKA EUREKA I found it!!! I have no doubt what so ever that my Hope is everything that I could have ever dreamed. The understanding that I have and the clarity see it with is remarkable to say the least. I am still following my Hope and the progression to understanding is entering a whole new realm right now. The progression continues. I am imagine that to those watching I will look more idiotic than ever before, but that is okay. This trail has let me see things that I had no idea that I could ever see from the start of it. I cannot wait to see what is up ahead. In my next post I want to talk about the progression and where it starts. Until then....make sure you eat your broccoli!

Get me off the downers......or Insanity versus lunacy

A few weeks ago I posted a quote that I heard that was one of the wisest things that has ever entered my ears. Tonight it went through my head and I heard it so clearly spoken. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. Wow... I do not want to be called insane. I do not mind being called a lunatic because I believe a few thousand years ago that a man taught a whole bunch of stuff about real living, died (clearly with me in mind,) then came back to life (meaning His soul returned to His dead body and woke Him up) then He left the earth but then sent this His Spirit back to the earth to teach people. (This sounds like something I lunatic would believe, therefore I am fine with being called that name) But I would hate to be remembered as being insane. I just picture people driving by my house pointing at the guy that is waiting for oranges to appear on his apple tree. Hopefully some kind soul would stop and gently say, "Sir....you have to plant orange seeds to get oranges. It doesn't matter how much you do to that apple tree, it will never give you an orange."
I do not want to be that man! I want some people to start asking me, "what are you doing different to achieve the life that you want?" I want to be held accountable to the fact that my life has got to change in order to become a man. Childish things must be laid to rest. I want to be asked if this is happening regularly. I am tried of insanity. It is tiring. Being a lunatic is a phenomenal way to live. I derive the greatest of highs from lunacy. Insanity brings a total downer to party. Nobody likes a downer. Please people>>>>>>>>help me get off the downers!!!!