I am a story from the magic book

I am convinced that I can experience as much of God as anyone that has ever lived. I believe that I can know the one that was there before there was anything, intimately. There is not any difference between now and thousands of years ago. The only difference is that the enemy has had time to plant doubts and lies throughout all the generations. Well I refuse to believe them! I refuse to believe that He has changed one iota. I refuse to believe that He liked someone more than He likes me. I refuse to believe that my faith and Paul's faith would result in different encounters with Him. I refuse to believe that his Jesus and my Jesus are different. I refuse to believe that God doesn't want the same relationship with me as him. I am not going to fall for this counterfeit junk. I am a story from the magic book and I am not going to settle for anything less.

sowing

What happens when you make dumb decisions while living in the now? What if you choose to ignore the present? I suppose this is a component to living in the now that needs to be addressed. One thing for sure is that the moment after you make mistakes, it is no longer the present and becomes the past. Dealing with the past in the present is not really that much fun. Consequences are the fruit regardless to what you sow. Gigantic truth of the day, you can sow to the flesh or you can sow to the Spirit. Either way in the present you are sowing some sort of seeds. Either good ones that will bear the life that you want or bad ones that will bear the life that you hate. What I am dealing with is, how do you quit sowing the bad seeds! How do you get past being sadomasochistic? I think that this is the next crucial step to my journey. I know what the magic book says, but I want the reality of it.
The first step is indeed, humility...Forgiveness must be sought, by all that were hurt. That is the first step of getting back into the present moment. The present is back...now what seeds will I spend the rest of the day sowing? I want the good stuff, but do I hate the bad stuff enough? Do I hate the pain as much as I love the joy? Like one of my mentors routinely cries out, "Lord PLEASE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!" I can clearly see that this is a seed for the good life. I suppose if I have to keep planting this seed until its fruit begins to produce that it is a good way at starting this garden. That is definitely sowing to the life that I want.

here in the now!

I have felt that I am on the brink of something rather large and meaningful for quite some time now. I had no idea what it was until now. My eyes are open to see it and the light shined bright enough to show me it. Seeing it fills me with a peace and joy that I have sought and knew that I would have once I found it. I must admit, finding it in this fashion was really quite unexpected. The clearness of is it is rather shocking.
Okay here's what it is. I can clearly see that I have everything in place to live the exact life that I think is the most meaningful life that I can live. In other words, I do not need the future to live the life that I want to live, I have it in the now. When I look at my life, everything is in place. This is crazy. What I have seen is that there is no greater way of living than being an upright man. What makes a man upright? When I am not thinking selfishly, I can see that there is utmost value in all human beings. Each person is just as important as myself. God loves them as much as He loves me. I really really believe that God loves me. Seeing that He loves others in the same fashion can be revolutionary and here's why. In my life, I have a wife. This wife is loved by God to the utmost, therefore in being her husband I have this tremendous opportunity to be the husband to someone greatly loved by God. The way that I treat her, lead her, comfort her, entertain her, honor and respect her will show the value of her infinite worth to God. This is a gigantic calling, and it is not in the future....it is here in the now. I have it.
The light continued shining and lit up another one of my desires. Somewhat equal but different in levels of seriousness is the role of a father on this earth. I have three children that are loved by God to the utmost. And wow....I am their dad. I have the opportunity to show them the ropes to this thing called life. Being everything that encompasses a successful dad is so daunting, yet the most exciting thing that I could ever embark on. That is what this light has shown. There is no chasing fancy things and the future for greatness. I have the opportunity to live in it on a daily basis.
I also have people in my life that I have the opportunity to show them how infinitely loved by the eternal God and show them this great honor by loving them. So the three things that I want to be: a husband, father, and friend, are here in the now. It is not some future event. It is in the now. This is the big secret. The now is where you get to experience this, to be it. I cannot find it in the past, I might be able to in the future, but I most definitely can be these things in the present. This is where all fulfillment will be found. In the now I can plant the seeds for the future, but I have to now. I can till the ground that was there (the past) and plant seeds (present) and have fruit (the future.) This is an amazing discovery for myself. It is an awakening, it is the wakeup call that I wanted. Each day has a chance to be all that I want to be. The pieces of my life are here!!!! They are even put together! It is here in the now! (I do not have time to proofread right now, sorry.) (that is for the three of you that read this and found mistakes)

living life, as if on purpose

I stopped and visited an old friend today. I really haven't spent any time with him in the last six years. We talked for a bit, updated current info, then spent a little time talking about the last six years. It is so weird to think about the last six years in a way to bring someone up to date. It is impossible to do without lots of time.
It really got me thinking about some things. I am wondering, who in the last six years knows me? Who knows the emotions, trials, victories, adventures and experiences that I have encountered over that time? Who is with me in this journey? Do I even try and share this trip? Who knows me intimately? Who am I journeying with? Am I on the road with anyone?
Well I think that I can say that my wife is high atop this incredibly short list. Dawn and I have shared many of the same highlights and low lights. This is exciting yet eye opening. I can clearly see that far too much of life is slipping by without any clear focus. Instead we are cruising through our life. Instead of exploring together we are going in circles and seeing the same stuff. I want life to be as if we are climbing a mountain together. We are together at the base and we look up and we see our task. We have the same goal. We desire the same satisfaction. We consciously, diligently, and alertly travel together. The other way is living sub consciously next to each other. You are around one another yet you can do it in a way that takes zero effort. I have ONE LIFE! One life.....one life....this is MY journey. This is MY lone attempt at life. It will be what I make it. Jesus said that some will bear fruit of 30 fold, 60 fold or 100 fold. What this means is that some are going to really wake up to the possibilities of this life. There are some that are going to realize the reality of life, of their life. They are going to tap into that reality and really experience life and the potential of it. I want my stinkin' wake up call. I see this and I want it so badly. I want the fog of my brain to lift, my eyes to see, my mind to wrap itself around this truth and my body to follow. I want to live and bear maximum fruit. I want to sow to this reality so that years from now the fruit is simply abounding off the tree. I want to journey with my wife. I want to journey with my children. I want Silas, Ella and Asher to have clear vision early to living this one life. I am so excited to the possibilities of their respective journeys! I want to climb this mountain. I no longer want to walk around it thinking it is simply a rock. I want to explore it, live it and get the most out of it that I can. What else is there to do? This is the truth as far as I see it. It is everything that Jesus taught and the magic book (bible) has tried to communicate yet it got mixed up to become a religion and not the truth. I am going to live it as the truth. I am going to be free. I am going to find the purpose of each day. It is the only one of them I will ever get. I am going to sniff out what the point of today is each day. Not live as a maniac but live as an explorer, a sojourner. I want to treat the day as a tourist rather than a resident. I want to share this adventure and travel with as many others as I can. (this is what the church should look like) In five years I want to see a cast of faces that have taken part in my purpose, and I, theirs. This requires total openness and honesty. Without it we will not be sharing with each other. The good and worst must be known to get where we are going. No masks or walls. We have to do it together. Who out there reading this wants to travel with me? (this could be hypothetical because maybe no one is reading this) We travel together but the journey is yours. We simply help one another along with it. I need help being a child, being a father, discovering the insane mysteries of being married and taking it to levels unknown, being your friend, and all of my other daily ventures. I need travelers who want the unknown, who want to go to uncharted territory. Many have traveled there but there are no maps. I need those that will push, pull and carry me when needed. This is what I want. This what I see life and the church as. I love the magic book but I love its reality even more. I do not want the book, I want the adventure that it starts and leads you on. No more blurs of unconscious living. No more venturing alone. I cannot get to where I want to go without help. It is simply too chaotic and crazy of a climb to get where I want to go. Who wants to travel together? I am counting my wife in kids in as a given, but I need others that want to live as if on purpose?

Remaining

It was declared that by remaining here, I will find all of the joy that I could ever imagine. I believe it. I look around and all that I desire is here. The deepest caverns of my heart start to come to life when I enter this place, while I am here they continue to fill. There are things that I hope to be. When I gaze this place and I am mesmerized by the fact that they are here. I am told that if I stay, I can have them. I can be them. When you get what you want, doesn't that fulfill your joy? Isn't that a reason to rejoice? I believe that it is. When you find all that you have ever wanted, doesn't that call for a celebration? I believe that it does. This is what I have found, why would I ever leave? I cannot think of a reason that I should. This how I feel about Jesus. Everything that I want to be, everything that I have always wanted, I have found in Him. This is truly the most incredible thing in the world. I never would have guessed, but it is true. 2000 plus years ago He told those following Him to remain in Him and all of the joy that they could have ever wanted would be there. Joy is something different than happiness. It is richer, fuller, and long lasting. It brings life to the deepest caverns of the heart. Mine are awakening. The freedom that is here is able to liberate me from myself and become all that I aspire to be. A husband, a father, and a friend. There is no place that I know of like this place. It holds the answers and offers all the hope that I need. There is no reason to leave, I think that I will remain.

The Solution

The Solution

Every problem needs a solution. There is not a single person that I know that likes to be stuck in a problematic situation. The instant that it arises we begin to look for hope. That is, we look for something that can give us confidence that the problem can come to an end. We need that hope. Every situation that has ever existed has this same chronological order of events. Normalcy-a problem pops up-a remedy is sought (something to place hope in) - a time of faith (living confidently that our hope will provide the solution to the problem) then three things can happen. The first is that our hope does solve our problem and everything turns out the way that we desired. The second is that it does not solve the problem and we go back to the drawing board and look for a new hope. Upon finding it we place our faith in it. The third scenario is that our hope fails and we simply give up, in essence, we become hopeless.

In looking at my life I have a problem. My problem is that there is a wall that surrounds me and keeps me from going where I want to. If you were wearing special glasses you would see that a cage holds me captive. I am being held back from the life of fulfillment that I have planned and desperately desire. I guess I need to take a step back and introduce you to that plan. I call it Operation Fulfillment.

Operation Fulfillment is somewhat of a Benjamin Button look at my life. A while ago, I read one of the most thought provoking books of my life. “Million Miles in a Thousand Years” is authored by one of my favorites, Donald Miller. There is something electric about the words that he presented in this book that sent shockwaves into my thought life. This book really caused me to take a step back and look deeply at my life. I would like to preface the rest of this by saying that I am very humbled by what has taken place in my life. I have not done anything earth shattering but I have been able to experience things that I never dreamed were even possible.

Twelve years ago I was a lonely, lost fellow with really no hope of doing anything that mattered in this life. I was scared of everything. I had no one to turn to and really had no clue what life was all about. To say the least, something insane happened that opened the floodgates to a life I could not have imagined. (This is not about what happened then, let’s just say that Him being real changed my world!) Since then I have seen places, done things, and touched lives I never imagined was possible.

In spite of these experiences I still felt that my life was lacking and that as far as direction went, I was still guessing at which way to go. Instead of having a plan, I was just improvising and trying to live the most fulfilling life that I could and quite honestly, failing. After reading Mr. Miller’s latest book there was a major shift in thought in my mind. I had this idea to take a look at my life in reverse. I sat in my favorite chair and looked at life through the lens of me at seventy years old. I hypothesized about what would give me the satisfaction of a fulfilled life when I am that age. I came up with four premises that would take my story to the level of Cinderella Man. God, my wife, my children and community.

The first premise is also the one that must flow into the other ones or else my story will never get off the ground and I will always be reaching, grasping and coming up short. This river for this life is actually, that. I must remain planted by the river of life. My roots must be firmly dug into and growing deeper in the banks of God’s love for me. If not then I will shrivel up and die. This is what started this story within a story to begin with and that has to remain intact and constant.

The second premise is one that may have come from another of Miller’s books. This is the reality that my story and my wife’s story will be intertwined with each other. That is, I am completely responsible for making it as magical as I can. I love this! I want more than anything, my wife to look back when she is seventy and say, “Wow! I am loved! I lived the dream as a bride!” I want her to have few regrets and lots of dreams discovered including the ones that she is yet to have. I understand that I play a undeniably huge role in making this a reality.

The third is that I want my three children to be planted in my love for them and be able to thrive there. I want them to have memories that can instantly transport them to a place that they can gain security from. I want them to know how to navigate themselves in this world with success and humility wrapped into a neat little package. I want them to know that the greatest pleasures of this life do not need a bank account. I want to them to always see me as their Daddy, just as God wants me to do the same to Him. I want to give them the best start for their story that I can.

The final premise of Operation Fulfillment is that I want to influence everyone that I encounter to go after their life of fulfillment. I want to help the prospects of a wasted life. Every life matters. I want to influence those who do not see their story. Twelve years ago I did not see a story. I wanted a story but I was not an author. I have the vision I once did not and I want to spread it into the lives of those I encounter that are lacking it. I want to bring hope to the hopeless.

When I looked back at my life as a seventy year old, this is what I saw would provide the satisfaction that I long for now. I have the vision and the way. But now I have a problem. I do not have the keys to the cage. I need a bulldozer for the wall. But I may have found the hope. That is, the thing that could activate this plan and really give it some legs to walk with. Mr. Miller is having a conference regarding our life as a story. Gathering there is a community of people that desire a life of fulfillment or to live out the best story possible. I have not encountered many people that share this vision. A fulfilled life is different than being happy today. That feeling of a fulfilled life to me is the highest way of living a man or woman can attain. There is a rest and peace there that I do not think that I could find any other place. That life starts now, a fulfilled minute will turn into an hour, an hour into a day, a day into a week, a week, into a month, a month into a year, and year into a lifetime. It starts now, but I feel stuck. I really believed that being immersed into a community of likeminded people for a few days could be the spark that I am searching for to start this fire. I do not want to live in that community, I want to be able to create that community in places that surround me. To be picked to win this would be another dream in this life I did not think was possible, but I now know that it is. The premise is there, the execution has begun. What I need is the solution to my problem, my hope is this conference. My faith is that this blog will win the all expense paid trip to it. I believe you hold the keys, will you unlock the cage?

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

The Wall.....not pink floyd's

There is this thing in my life that I feel has always been there. It something that I cannot see or touch yet it is as real as a mountain in front of me. I can be running along and "CRASH" I run right into it. It is an invisible wall. I really cannot stand it and have reached a point of desperately wanting to tear it down. It is a roadblock to everything that I want to do in life and I am worn out and frustrated by its detours. It always takes me to a place that I do not have any desire to go to and never actually gets me to where I am going. I have literally been around the world and have run into it where ever I have been.
The thing about it, though, is that it is imaginary and it is something that MY mind created years ago as a safety mechanism. It keeps me from going too far and making it to the outside. Like a fenced in yard for children, it keeps them safe, yet never lets them explore and know what is just beyond the gate. This wall has kept me from going to0 far and from falling too fast. Well I no longer want this cage. This safety net can be removed from beneath me. My fear and need of safety is no longer a part of my being...I feel it is one of the last parts of my being in need of transformation. I am ready for the training wheels to be removed, I am ready to ride, and ready to scrape my knee. I am ready to be free from this thing in my brain. I am ready to become what I want to be without any restrictions, free of any invisible walls that impede my way. The solution is coming.....I hope and coming soon.