Make sure that you eat your broccoli

I want to preface this entry with this: I try and look at everything that I think and do through the eyes of someone that has no understanding of what the magic book says. In doing so I would think that I look like a total idiot. I do not look cool or even sane for that matter. If I was watching someone whose whole life revolved around things that are unseen, I would try to help them find their mind again. I say that so that anyone that reads this that has no idea what this is that I know exactly how they feel. Eleven years ago something dramatic happened on my insides that changed the way I see and experience everything. I know that it looks crazy, but it is the highest form of living that exists. I believe that everything in the magic book is true and is leading me to my ultimate goal.....to intimately know the Creator of this whole thing called life. I truly believe with every ounce of my being that we were all born to know this Creator. It is so unbelievably (yet very believable) perfect. There is no higher philosophy than this. I believe that on a daily basis I am interacting with the Living God, through the life of Jesus. Yeah that crazy Jesus that Christmas is supposedly about. The one that the churches try telling you about. The Jesus in the magic book is so much better than what most try and tell us about. I am sure that my readership will take a plunge by the mere mention of His name, but I am telling you, what I have experienced in the last decade is far more than any single one of you have and I am the biggest loser out of everyone that I know!
Anyways that preface was longer than planned. I just wanted to say that I know that I look like an idiot but I am the most peaceful, remarkably changed idiot that I know!
I am working on writing out all my thoughts and understanding of how the magic book is supposed to work in your life. Lately I have been able to clearly see what the progression of life can look like if properly taught and understood. The progression is so gentle and kind and looks exactly like the birth of a newborn. This is the start of it. Everything in life is fresh and new, everything is done for you. You need the help everyone around you because if left on your own you would die. Just like a baby. It needs fed, bathed, dressed, and even more importantly, loved. This is the first step in the spiritual life as well. It is uncanny when this takes place how everything looks radically different. Nothing remains familiar. It is like living in a completely different world. Here's how mine started. I am always felt that there was WAY more to life than what I was seeing. Almost like there was something behind the scenes. But I definitely didn't know what it was and was convinced that it had nothing to do with religion. (I still think that it has ZERO to do with religion, the magic book is clear on this) I had some things happen that opened my eyes a bit to look into some higher thinking of life. (we all have these things happen, we can chose to look into it, or just let it pass) Well as I investigated the life of a man called Jesus, I was surprised to see how boring the church made Him out to be, while the magic book presented these crazy ideas. One day it came to be that it simply made sense to me (I had no clue where it would lead, but I knew that it was the trail of life that I would follow.) I would follow the course of Jesus. This is where my life of faith began. Here is faith in a nutshell: I had a massive desire to understand what this life is (note it most start with a desire) I needed to find an answer to it, something that could get me there (this is a hope, the thing that you look to, to get the thing that you desire) Jesus presented Himself as the clearest most logical (even though it looks illogical) solution. He became my hope that would get me the answers and understanding that I desired. Now faith is living confidently that you picked the proper hope to get you what you want. I want to shout EUREKA EUREKA I found it!!! I have no doubt what so ever that my Hope is everything that I could have ever dreamed. The understanding that I have and the clarity see it with is remarkable to say the least. I am still following my Hope and the progression to understanding is entering a whole new realm right now. The progression continues. I am imagine that to those watching I will look more idiotic than ever before, but that is okay. This trail has let me see things that I had no idea that I could ever see from the start of it. I cannot wait to see what is up ahead. In my next post I want to talk about the progression and where it starts. Until then....make sure you eat your broccoli!

Get me off the downers......or Insanity versus lunacy

A few weeks ago I posted a quote that I heard that was one of the wisest things that has ever entered my ears. Tonight it went through my head and I heard it so clearly spoken. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. Wow... I do not want to be called insane. I do not mind being called a lunatic because I believe a few thousand years ago that a man taught a whole bunch of stuff about real living, died (clearly with me in mind,) then came back to life (meaning His soul returned to His dead body and woke Him up) then He left the earth but then sent this His Spirit back to the earth to teach people. (This sounds like something I lunatic would believe, therefore I am fine with being called that name) But I would hate to be remembered as being insane. I just picture people driving by my house pointing at the guy that is waiting for oranges to appear on his apple tree. Hopefully some kind soul would stop and gently say, "Sir....you have to plant orange seeds to get oranges. It doesn't matter how much you do to that apple tree, it will never give you an orange."
I do not want to be that man! I want some people to start asking me, "what are you doing different to achieve the life that you want?" I want to be held accountable to the fact that my life has got to change in order to become a man. Childish things must be laid to rest. I want to be asked if this is happening regularly. I am tried of insanity. It is tiring. Being a lunatic is a phenomenal way to live. I derive the greatest of highs from lunacy. Insanity brings a total downer to party. Nobody likes a downer. Please people>>>>>>>>help me get off the downers!!!!

A phenomenal love song

This post is simply to share a song by Andrew Peterson (video cheesy, song incredible) This is the best love song that I have heard in along time! It has encouraged me so much! Marriage is much more of a challenge than I would have imagined. It is so easy to have a mediocre one, but a great one is one that takes a deliberate, diligent, and humble approach. Dawn and I have had our share of mediocre times. We are in an extremely sweet spot despite the circumstances of life. I am overjoyed at the idea of continuing our story together, especially in the challenges of the future. This song communicates the past, present and future. I hope that this will encourage you to meditate on the promises that you made your wife/husband and go back to them and enjoy this life together!

love conquers a mushy mind

I have had two days of a mushy mind. A few times a year I get this crazy arthritis attack that hits most of my joints, produces some neat fevers and makes my mind a pile of mush. It is during these episodes that I sometimes wonder if my mind will be able to go back to the place it was. (that is, being able to comprehend the love of God) The answer always is.....yes, yes it can. Here's why: There is this amazing reality that no matter what my state of mind, no matter what place that I am in, no matter what I am doing, and no matter what I choose to believe: GOD is who He says that He is. He absolutely, positively never ever changes. Circumstances do not define Him. He is always right there and the second that I seek Him....HE is there. This is gigantic, He simply cannot stop being God. Not for one second. He is bigger than any circumstance. This is one of the best things that I love about Him. He is so completely loyal to Himself and to me! Even more so, He is this to everyone. He doesn't like me anymore than He likes you. He loves you and I both so stinkin' much. Once we let ourselves get entangled in this madness it will always allow our minds to go from mush and back into His presence. I am convinced that this is why we must spend lots and lots of time getting to know His perfect love. There is a confidence that it brings. When you know it, circumstances such as a mushy mind cannot separate you from Him. It always will bring you back. I am rooted in it, despite the fact that I am who I am. Take as much time as you need to know this love. If it is all that you focus on for years you will be so much farther ahead than you could be in any other fashion. I am spending years getting my kids to know my love so that for the rest of their lives they never doubt it. It is indicative to their future. It is the greatest thing that I can give them. God is a way better Father than I am, I am positive that more than anything else you could ever try doing for Him, you knowing and experiencing His love for you is far more important. Once you have that, who knows? But until you do, there is no other place to go. Today while you are sitting there, quiet yourself, and in your mind (not out loud!) ask the God of the entire universe, if He loves you. Ask in a way that you expect to hear something....listen in your mind. I know that you will hear something. He is who He says that He is. If we seek we will find.

Monopoly money cannot get me anything in real life

There is a great truth about love that I am currently learning. It links together so beautifully with the quest for a life of fulfillment that I embarking on. Sometimes I do things that may look like love but I have seen it is still a way to live selfishly. Here's an example without getting too deep into details. I am a night person. I like to stay up late and stare at walls or pace around outside meditating on life. Well I am also a person that has a wife that I am super attracted to. If when nighttime rolls around I am in a hyper mood and my wife is not, I have created this notion that it is showing her love by letting her go to bed without me bothering her and me going outside roasting coffee and pacing. This has gone on for a while and to me I was "being understanding" that she is tired. Well I can clearly see that this is a counterfeit love. It is never going to bring the fulfillment that I desire by my having my wife live the most fulfilled life of being truly loved by her husband. There is no way that she can feel loved by this. What it really is, is me wanting something, knowing I can't have it and picking something else. (there are many definite times that I just want to go and pace more than anything in the world) This is not showing respect or love to her. This is not going to fulfill her need of being loved.
Love becomes all things. It is not showing love to hug my wife. To her it is love. Having late night conversations is not showing love, it is love. God doesn't show love, He loves. It evolves into whatever need I may have. I learned something awesome last night. Jesus was hanging out with His disciples and said listen, here's a new commandment, go love others like I have loved you. God the Father loves me in every place that I need. My eyes are seeing that I can go the rest of my life being loved as deeply as I allow it. It meets my deepest desires and needs. He does this for me, and tells me to go and do it to others, to become this for others. I was outside roasting and clearly heard, "do you really think that she is sitting upstairs filled up with love? Is this how I love you?" This wasn't condemning, it was life giving! Monopoly money cannot get me anything in real life. Either can counterfeit love. I am going to learn to see what "LOVES" my wife. What it is that fills the depths of her heart. I do not have to guess at this. Love isn't a guess. It is a carefully planned, deliberate act that meets the exact need at the exact moment that it is needed. It is intentional. Not only will I stop trying to guess at what love is for her, I am going to watch and learn the same for each of my children and for each of those around me, including you few who are reading this. I want to become the love that you need, that is what God is for me. I like this commandment. It is real, practical, life giving, and leads to everything that I desire for this life.

I am a story from the magic book

I am convinced that I can experience as much of God as anyone that has ever lived. I believe that I can know the one that was there before there was anything, intimately. There is not any difference between now and thousands of years ago. The only difference is that the enemy has had time to plant doubts and lies throughout all the generations. Well I refuse to believe them! I refuse to believe that He has changed one iota. I refuse to believe that He liked someone more than He likes me. I refuse to believe that my faith and Paul's faith would result in different encounters with Him. I refuse to believe that his Jesus and my Jesus are different. I refuse to believe that God doesn't want the same relationship with me as him. I am not going to fall for this counterfeit junk. I am a story from the magic book and I am not going to settle for anything less.

sowing

What happens when you make dumb decisions while living in the now? What if you choose to ignore the present? I suppose this is a component to living in the now that needs to be addressed. One thing for sure is that the moment after you make mistakes, it is no longer the present and becomes the past. Dealing with the past in the present is not really that much fun. Consequences are the fruit regardless to what you sow. Gigantic truth of the day, you can sow to the flesh or you can sow to the Spirit. Either way in the present you are sowing some sort of seeds. Either good ones that will bear the life that you want or bad ones that will bear the life that you hate. What I am dealing with is, how do you quit sowing the bad seeds! How do you get past being sadomasochistic? I think that this is the next crucial step to my journey. I know what the magic book says, but I want the reality of it.
The first step is indeed, humility...Forgiveness must be sought, by all that were hurt. That is the first step of getting back into the present moment. The present is back...now what seeds will I spend the rest of the day sowing? I want the good stuff, but do I hate the bad stuff enough? Do I hate the pain as much as I love the joy? Like one of my mentors routinely cries out, "Lord PLEASE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!" I can clearly see that this is a seed for the good life. I suppose if I have to keep planting this seed until its fruit begins to produce that it is a good way at starting this garden. That is definitely sowing to the life that I want.

here in the now!

I have felt that I am on the brink of something rather large and meaningful for quite some time now. I had no idea what it was until now. My eyes are open to see it and the light shined bright enough to show me it. Seeing it fills me with a peace and joy that I have sought and knew that I would have once I found it. I must admit, finding it in this fashion was really quite unexpected. The clearness of is it is rather shocking.
Okay here's what it is. I can clearly see that I have everything in place to live the exact life that I think is the most meaningful life that I can live. In other words, I do not need the future to live the life that I want to live, I have it in the now. When I look at my life, everything is in place. This is crazy. What I have seen is that there is no greater way of living than being an upright man. What makes a man upright? When I am not thinking selfishly, I can see that there is utmost value in all human beings. Each person is just as important as myself. God loves them as much as He loves me. I really really believe that God loves me. Seeing that He loves others in the same fashion can be revolutionary and here's why. In my life, I have a wife. This wife is loved by God to the utmost, therefore in being her husband I have this tremendous opportunity to be the husband to someone greatly loved by God. The way that I treat her, lead her, comfort her, entertain her, honor and respect her will show the value of her infinite worth to God. This is a gigantic calling, and it is not in the future....it is here in the now. I have it.
The light continued shining and lit up another one of my desires. Somewhat equal but different in levels of seriousness is the role of a father on this earth. I have three children that are loved by God to the utmost. And wow....I am their dad. I have the opportunity to show them the ropes to this thing called life. Being everything that encompasses a successful dad is so daunting, yet the most exciting thing that I could ever embark on. That is what this light has shown. There is no chasing fancy things and the future for greatness. I have the opportunity to live in it on a daily basis.
I also have people in my life that I have the opportunity to show them how infinitely loved by the eternal God and show them this great honor by loving them. So the three things that I want to be: a husband, father, and friend, are here in the now. It is not some future event. It is in the now. This is the big secret. The now is where you get to experience this, to be it. I cannot find it in the past, I might be able to in the future, but I most definitely can be these things in the present. This is where all fulfillment will be found. In the now I can plant the seeds for the future, but I have to now. I can till the ground that was there (the past) and plant seeds (present) and have fruit (the future.) This is an amazing discovery for myself. It is an awakening, it is the wakeup call that I wanted. Each day has a chance to be all that I want to be. The pieces of my life are here!!!! They are even put together! It is here in the now! (I do not have time to proofread right now, sorry.) (that is for the three of you that read this and found mistakes)

living life, as if on purpose

I stopped and visited an old friend today. I really haven't spent any time with him in the last six years. We talked for a bit, updated current info, then spent a little time talking about the last six years. It is so weird to think about the last six years in a way to bring someone up to date. It is impossible to do without lots of time.
It really got me thinking about some things. I am wondering, who in the last six years knows me? Who knows the emotions, trials, victories, adventures and experiences that I have encountered over that time? Who is with me in this journey? Do I even try and share this trip? Who knows me intimately? Who am I journeying with? Am I on the road with anyone?
Well I think that I can say that my wife is high atop this incredibly short list. Dawn and I have shared many of the same highlights and low lights. This is exciting yet eye opening. I can clearly see that far too much of life is slipping by without any clear focus. Instead we are cruising through our life. Instead of exploring together we are going in circles and seeing the same stuff. I want life to be as if we are climbing a mountain together. We are together at the base and we look up and we see our task. We have the same goal. We desire the same satisfaction. We consciously, diligently, and alertly travel together. The other way is living sub consciously next to each other. You are around one another yet you can do it in a way that takes zero effort. I have ONE LIFE! One life.....one life....this is MY journey. This is MY lone attempt at life. It will be what I make it. Jesus said that some will bear fruit of 30 fold, 60 fold or 100 fold. What this means is that some are going to really wake up to the possibilities of this life. There are some that are going to realize the reality of life, of their life. They are going to tap into that reality and really experience life and the potential of it. I want my stinkin' wake up call. I see this and I want it so badly. I want the fog of my brain to lift, my eyes to see, my mind to wrap itself around this truth and my body to follow. I want to live and bear maximum fruit. I want to sow to this reality so that years from now the fruit is simply abounding off the tree. I want to journey with my wife. I want to journey with my children. I want Silas, Ella and Asher to have clear vision early to living this one life. I am so excited to the possibilities of their respective journeys! I want to climb this mountain. I no longer want to walk around it thinking it is simply a rock. I want to explore it, live it and get the most out of it that I can. What else is there to do? This is the truth as far as I see it. It is everything that Jesus taught and the magic book (bible) has tried to communicate yet it got mixed up to become a religion and not the truth. I am going to live it as the truth. I am going to be free. I am going to find the purpose of each day. It is the only one of them I will ever get. I am going to sniff out what the point of today is each day. Not live as a maniac but live as an explorer, a sojourner. I want to treat the day as a tourist rather than a resident. I want to share this adventure and travel with as many others as I can. (this is what the church should look like) In five years I want to see a cast of faces that have taken part in my purpose, and I, theirs. This requires total openness and honesty. Without it we will not be sharing with each other. The good and worst must be known to get where we are going. No masks or walls. We have to do it together. Who out there reading this wants to travel with me? (this could be hypothetical because maybe no one is reading this) We travel together but the journey is yours. We simply help one another along with it. I need help being a child, being a father, discovering the insane mysteries of being married and taking it to levels unknown, being your friend, and all of my other daily ventures. I need travelers who want the unknown, who want to go to uncharted territory. Many have traveled there but there are no maps. I need those that will push, pull and carry me when needed. This is what I want. This what I see life and the church as. I love the magic book but I love its reality even more. I do not want the book, I want the adventure that it starts and leads you on. No more blurs of unconscious living. No more venturing alone. I cannot get to where I want to go without help. It is simply too chaotic and crazy of a climb to get where I want to go. Who wants to travel together? I am counting my wife in kids in as a given, but I need others that want to live as if on purpose?

Remaining

It was declared that by remaining here, I will find all of the joy that I could ever imagine. I believe it. I look around and all that I desire is here. The deepest caverns of my heart start to come to life when I enter this place, while I am here they continue to fill. There are things that I hope to be. When I gaze this place and I am mesmerized by the fact that they are here. I am told that if I stay, I can have them. I can be them. When you get what you want, doesn't that fulfill your joy? Isn't that a reason to rejoice? I believe that it is. When you find all that you have ever wanted, doesn't that call for a celebration? I believe that it does. This is what I have found, why would I ever leave? I cannot think of a reason that I should. This how I feel about Jesus. Everything that I want to be, everything that I have always wanted, I have found in Him. This is truly the most incredible thing in the world. I never would have guessed, but it is true. 2000 plus years ago He told those following Him to remain in Him and all of the joy that they could have ever wanted would be there. Joy is something different than happiness. It is richer, fuller, and long lasting. It brings life to the deepest caverns of the heart. Mine are awakening. The freedom that is here is able to liberate me from myself and become all that I aspire to be. A husband, a father, and a friend. There is no place that I know of like this place. It holds the answers and offers all the hope that I need. There is no reason to leave, I think that I will remain.