sowing

What happens when you make dumb decisions while living in the now? What if you choose to ignore the present? I suppose this is a component to living in the now that needs to be addressed. One thing for sure is that the moment after you make mistakes, it is no longer the present and becomes the past. Dealing with the past in the present is not really that much fun. Consequences are the fruit regardless to what you sow. Gigantic truth of the day, you can sow to the flesh or you can sow to the Spirit. Either way in the present you are sowing some sort of seeds. Either good ones that will bear the life that you want or bad ones that will bear the life that you hate. What I am dealing with is, how do you quit sowing the bad seeds! How do you get past being sadomasochistic? I think that this is the next crucial step to my journey. I know what the magic book says, but I want the reality of it.
The first step is indeed, humility...Forgiveness must be sought, by all that were hurt. That is the first step of getting back into the present moment. The present is back...now what seeds will I spend the rest of the day sowing? I want the good stuff, but do I hate the bad stuff enough? Do I hate the pain as much as I love the joy? Like one of my mentors routinely cries out, "Lord PLEASE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!" I can clearly see that this is a seed for the good life. I suppose if I have to keep planting this seed until its fruit begins to produce that it is a good way at starting this garden. That is definitely sowing to the life that I want.