There is a great truth about love that I am currently learning. It links together so beautifully with the quest for a life of fulfillment that I embarking on. Sometimes I do things that may look like love but I have seen it is still a way to live selfishly. Here's an example without getting too deep into details. I am a night person. I like to stay up late and stare at walls or pace around outside meditating on life. Well I am also a person that has a wife that I am super attracted to. If when nighttime rolls around I am in a hyper mood and my wife is not, I have created this notion that it is showing her love by letting her go to bed without me bothering her and me going outside roasting coffee and pacing. This has gone on for a while and to me I was "being understanding" that she is tired. Well I can clearly see that this is a counterfeit love. It is never going to bring the fulfillment that I desire by my having my wife live the most fulfilled life of being truly loved by her husband. There is no way that she can feel loved by this. What it really is, is me wanting something, knowing I can't have it and picking something else. (there are many definite times that I just want to go and pace more than anything in the world) This is not showing respect or love to her. This is not going to fulfill her need of being loved.
Love becomes all things. It is not showing love to hug my wife. To her it is love. Having late night conversations is not showing love, it is love. God doesn't show love, He loves. It evolves into whatever need I may have. I learned something awesome last night. Jesus was hanging out with His disciples and said listen, here's a new commandment, go love others like I have loved you. God the Father loves me in every place that I need. My eyes are seeing that I can go the rest of my life being loved as deeply as I allow it. It meets my deepest desires and needs. He does this for me, and tells me to go and do it to others, to become this for others. I was outside roasting and clearly heard, "do you really think that she is sitting upstairs filled up with love? Is this how I love you?" This wasn't condemning, it was life giving! Monopoly money cannot get me anything in real life. Either can counterfeit love. I am going to learn to see what "LOVES" my wife. What it is that fills the depths of her heart. I do not have to guess at this. Love isn't a guess. It is a carefully planned, deliberate act that meets the exact need at the exact moment that it is needed. It is intentional. Not only will I stop trying to guess at what love is for her, I am going to watch and learn the same for each of my children and for each of those around me, including you few who are reading this. I want to become the love that you need, that is what God is for me. I like this commandment. It is real, practical, life giving, and leads to everything that I desire for this life.
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